apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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