i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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