why didn't you poke me back
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
