i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She told me I should be a condom model.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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