even my farts smell like vagina
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize