I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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