none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize