im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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