Don't you send me to vm
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
