i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
