after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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