Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
