Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
