I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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