I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I look better un-naked...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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