I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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