I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
dude. I can hear the air.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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