but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
