Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
