It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
