she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize