You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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