R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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