I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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