nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
