please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Randomize
