Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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