If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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