Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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