I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
