he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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