remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize