All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
