Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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