What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
