I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
