To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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