hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
