do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
