i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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