It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
