found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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