no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
