SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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