My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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