FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
