The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
