its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
