Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
