I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
