I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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