Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize