We won't sleep together?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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