She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i believe in u and ur pee
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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