He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
