so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
