it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
