But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize