I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
