If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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