I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
