he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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