he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
