Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize